P.T.S.D.

Compton in the '80's was the place that I be Probably suffering from PTSD Gang shit crazy cop shit worse News fucking hates me feel like I'm cursed At an early age had to see the world real 8 when I saw the first cat got killed 10 watched popo smash a dude's grill Really no reason just do what they feel Couple years later pops moved to the A Was I a reason that he was moving away Baby cousin killed in a driveby Everyday feeling like I might die Stopped doing homework grades fell too Family thought drugs was the change of mood Tried to talk to my mom always came out angry Thinking that I was going fuckin crazy Man I hated who I was Couldn't fucking face who I was Didn't understand it held it all in This is really where my pain begins Lack self esteem and had self loathing Used arrogance hide like clothing Headphones on Public Enemy and Ice Cube Empowerment they preaching couldn't truly vibe too My pain was a lot more embedded Hid where race and religion couldn't get in One eye angry one eye sad Couldn't speak on it was a boy that's Black Self-medicated wasn't with drugs Sex was the way that I gained self love That was just a temporary fix Every day looking for more hits Latasha had scared of the corner store Cops had me scared to ask questions Gangs had me scared to wear colors LA's a powder keg and I'm stressin Looking in the mirror only saw flaws Tried to get better always had pause I was also happy when writing, Things I'm going through I started reciting This was my first try at therapy Using my art to repair me Wasn't going too deep though So after every song back down rabbit hole Same self image needed new latitude College in the A need a new attitude Clark Atlanta University that was '94 Two years flunked out now lost even more