nothing

Always grew up sad, never really knew why They told me I was different I already knew I Wasn't fucking normal Maybe I should've used prettier words or maybe I should've smiled or acted like a child My mummy always told me that I was really special And that's why everyone hates me 'cause I'm on the spectrum Retarded enough to be target Diagnosed and I realized that Thirteen's an unlucky number At thirteen I realized why I felt like my world was gonna go under At thirteen I realized that I hate all these numbers 'cause time is always moving downhill I need a lover I can't grow up 'Cause I'm special Special until I can buy a revolver Because death is chasing me and I never was a good runner I just stayed inside 'cause playing was a nightmare What's going on around me? I don't know, I should act like I don't care I can't recall ever not being stressed or scared I'd never sleep and always overthink everything If would've asked me what's I would've said nothing Because it's just a part of me and I want to be self accepting