Pain

Everybody always ask me why I am how I am This the song to let know It's Queen Poetry The heavens split and what descended was I A goddess born from the sun moon and sky I walk this path alone, no family no friends Here is where my journey begin… 02-28-90 The year I was born Coming up in a world of sin in the midst of the storm The doctor smacked my ass yet the pain I wasn’t warned I cried from that day because the pain exceeded on Called it my growing pains, yet I ain’t DTP Was a depressed child because they kept teasing me I was mentally physically, and emotionally abused Y'all just wouldn’t understand unless you walked in my shoes Age 5, went through a trial of molestation That man raped my soul though there was no penetration All I remember is darkness and unwanted hands I was too much of a youngster to understand Age 12, there’s David, that nigga gets no amnesty That bitch ass nigga molested all girls in my family He was a pervert its sad I still battle them nightmares I wish I can forget it all, it’s mental warfare Age 16, went through some unbelievable shit My boyfriend at the time forced me to suck his dick It was my first time but now how I imagined it Tyrone Joseph if you listening, you a bitch They say I talk about pain a lot it's all I know My whole life been a foul and I ain't get no free throws Tried everything in my power just to let it go Even went to therapy can’t lie it help me grow Even though hope is the blood that's coursing through my veins And I'm trying every single day to break these chains It felt like my existence was just so mundane When it comes to me the disrespect is so insane And I’m trying my best every day just to maintain Give my all until there’s nothing left, I’m so damn drained I’ve been through the storms yeah I’ve been through the rain Always looking for love only seem to find pain Now at 16 life was crazy, I’m surprised I kept my sanity Cuz later that year I lost my damn virginity To a nigga who was 19, He talked me out my panties Then left a few days later to go back to his family Age 19 was hectic for me a friend turned enemy Because of his attraction to me, he chose to rape me And till this day he’s free, I never told the cops Swear if I see him again I’mma make his heart stop He wasn’t the only one, sadly there’s so many Why didn’t they stop at no? My mind was in a frenzy It happened again, a 22 year old misfit Met this dude where I worked, slipped up and let him hit Ended up in a whole relationship 2 weeks later we broke up, cuz he was crazy as shit He raped me in my sleep, 9 months later I had his kid I don’t believe in abortions, so I chose to commit I try to keep my head high, let me fix my crown Look at my beautiful kids every time I’m down But I feel the funny vibes whenever I’m around Feeling so discarded like I'm in the lost and found I talk about my feelings they say keep that shit contained When I explode they wonder why I always go insane I’m emanating love, yet the question still remains Why the f*ck I gotta keep enduring so much pain? Here I am a single mother, my baby father a deadbeat He wants nothing to do with the child, if he can’t have me A year and a half later, I thought I met prince charming He swept me off my feet without any kind of warning My love for him made me allow shit that's real concerning Manage to keep me in a trance for 6 years, I'm just returning lost my kids to ACS my youngest was 4 months He put me through shit that no wife or woman wants I had to seek therapy, I was really suicidal I wouldn’t tell you that I love you yet act like I don't like you If he try that shit these days, I’mma have to hide the body We got 4 beautiful kids and they look up to they mommy Went 30 whole years looking for love in the wrong places I got love within my 4 kids, I see it in their faces Most importantly I love me through ALL of life's stages If I love you then you love me let's get back to the basic Had to tell myself dont give a f*ck what people say You a Queen nonetheless each and every day You are enough, never let nobody lead you astray Love yourself enough to never beg nobody to stay You descended from the Gods, let's not play these games Pick up your head, fix your crown, you've made it through the pain Pick up your head, fix your crown, you've made it through the pain Pick up your head, fix your crown, you've made it through the pain