What Saved My Life?

Don't ever tell me you understand my pain or I'm being dramatic You don't have the slightest clue of what I've been through in life I've been through hell and back and survived Where there was no one to tell me it was gonna be okay Don't entertain the pain So no, you really don't understand I Put you to the challenge Become the whole package Manage your own damage You gotta hurt in order to know Fall in order to grow I awoken with a blast from my past Set me on the right path fast Removed my disguise just in time to live this life Energize tranquilize visualize You're wasting my time Act like I'm a shooter from Columbine My mind's designed like Einstein and Tech 9 I can't repeat your storyline It's like watching paint drying in overtime We're just different you and I Nothing wrong with getting high At least I smile Round you always on trial You're in denial Smoking weed will put you on a new cycle A shattered ego or a standard hero Tired eyes always dry Talking like you're nine You're walking a fine line I see the lies in your eyes So what is it this time It's okay to reinvent yourself any day You can make mistakes along the way and fix those today You're not wrong if you don't like my song I'll just turn my head and put my headphones on Stay withdrawn Rapid changes far from painless You're chasing greatness in all the wrong places Leave a trail as I sail onto a new tale You'll lose in order to gain and you'll learn from the pain Keep blaming me It's you who's not living free Caged with rage you can't see and you can't breathe I float above you emerged in love You're running circles in a rush I can't bite my tongue You make me the villain You don't get a golden ticket It hurts you No one else can choose Think I'd chosen being raised in a cult Stunted with PTSD as an adult It didn't take long They kicked me out I said farewell onto the next perplexed religion fucked up my head Dizzy spinning spread thin For years feeling your fear before the fog cleared I survived the fires of hell I was a natural rebel I stay here free from fear cause I'm a seer Not with with my eyes Those tend to lie I use my ears so I can hear Then my mind it climbs I can rise You won't believe me but meth saved my life I was ill and filled with pills Had to get off oxy and perks Meth was the only thing that worked It brought me here Gave me a new start Tears apart in my heart Oct will take you down To a place you'll never be found With no air you'll drown It's me that creates the space internal echoes reiterate Invade and persuade But my PTSD's got a hold on me A little closer to insanity struggle with duality Mentally disturbed reality Manifest reflect and perfect and accept what's next Making the best Reap the benefit of the work I've done It's time to turn my undivided attention Getting into the vortex as best I can It's ok to stand out get the word out When you really love you all that will matter is the truth