Sign Me Up Bitch!

(Sign me up, bitch!) (Sign me up, bitch!) (Sign me up) (Sign me up) (Sign me up) (Sign me up) (Sign me up) (Sign me up) (Sign me up) (Sign me up) (Sign me up) There was a party that I wanted to go to I had some money, but the entrance gate was broke-proof I waited every day and prayed that maybe one day That something good falls through the roof Then there's a crash at three a.m. right on the dot Should be a burglar or a murderer, I hope not I steeled myself and sneak into the room with a bat (One, two, three) Then smash it hard across his back "Oh, What was that for?" Oh, You think I'm evil." (Which I did, which I did) "Oh, Allow me to elaborate" (Then he says) "Oh, I'm here to remedy your heartbreak." (Wait, over a party?) (No, about the the other thing) You've stayed inside your cocoon long enough, it's time to get out I'll be your brand new bestie, driver, host for coffee hangouts I'll sweep your mess away, redirect you to better routes (No, who the f*ck are you-?) Bitch, I'm not done yet! The guy you're hung up on is a two-time phony and a loser He's only at that rich party 'cause he lives with his mother He hurt you bad, I'm sure he did It's time to bring it faster (No, hold on, bring what?) Revenge. Oh, then. Sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, sign me up, sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, sign me up, sign me up, bitch! So, is this where he lives? Cool. Okay. Alright, I can work with this. So, there we were outside his street when he wasn't home He's sleeping with some secretary girl or God knows My devil friend passed me a wink and a hard stone And I crashed it through his window Then we stayed up all night making fake calls Told his mother, father, relatives he's a man-whore (Yeah, he's a slut) That he's a part of a twisted, religious cult Who drinks innocent women blood Oh, What was that for? Oh, I think I'm evil (Then he says, then he says) "Oh, Don't you think he deserved it?" (You're so right!) "Oh, I think you'll love the next part on my list." We're gonna hide his phone under his floor and watch him find it We'll stab three tires out of four, and let him cry about it Dump shit in front his lawn, set fire then he loses it (No, really, what the f*ck?) 'Cause we're not done yet! He'll want some omelette for breakfast, we'll leave on his door He's given a grand promotion? Hm, well, not anymore And by the time he's broke, disowned, pathetic, then you'll know (No, wait, I'll know what?) Revenge. Oh, then. Sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, sign me up, sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, sign me up, sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, bitch! (Man, you're so fucked) Sign me up, sign me up, sign me up, bitch! (You'll lose your shit) Sign me up, bitch! Sign me up, bitch! (I'll f*ck you up) Sign me up, sign me up, sign me up (Cause I'm just that) Bitch! (He's so fucked, though. Shit.) (No! I mean, yeah) (Oh my god. That's kinda mean.)