Life of the Questionnaire

Some days I woke up with gloom lying within my morning stretches Other days I sat at the edge of my bed with the war of mindsets Increasing its gruesomeness Visualizing the fight between my prosperity against my pain The outnumbering members of my pain been decreasing the power of my prosperity I'm having a major war within myself, Where this transition is going to make me or break me For the sake of me, I really want this transition To become something that awakens the great in me For so long I've been battling this depression, Asking myself when is this period of my life is going to be over My unhappiness spread into my attitude and influenced my actions Living life by the flesh, allowing my broken emotions To create a secluded room filled with the whispers of me Not living up to being what I've always dreamed of becoming Successful... I'm living within my mind more then I'm living my life... I'm present physically but I've vanished mentally and I've been gone for a minute But each second of the day I always reminisce on what has damaged me back in time I still wake up with nose bleeds and soreness Every drop of blood, I see the heartaches and pains endured previously As my day begins to turn to long nights I feel the entire world crashing on me I just don't understand how I can establish a way of standard living If I'm constantly grieving the same brokenness occurring within every season I'm pacing back and forth physically and pacing forth and back mentally I don't really understand what's this mix going on in my head But I'm stuck trying to understand a way to unlock myself from this realm I've tried looking in the mirror to stare this void out my spirit But it stares into disliking myself more and more than what I did before Looking myself in the eye It's been so hard trying to face myself and understand what I am and who I am I feel like a temple with no sort of life within it Zombie-like pace with procrastination at its finest The pain that opens my heart to grieving established mind-blowing scenarios That somehow came true in a sense of outcome But am I wrong for thinking that the devastation behind the unexpected will happen Before the expectation of what I've always wanted? Will this void ever be filled before I lay on my death bed if my life isn't taken Before I can reach a bed to lie on before I take my last breath Where am I going to end up if I don't find myself out of this dark forest With an overcast of temptations to drive me from life to death? So many questions without any answers Because I'm afraid to take the next step due to the outnumbered pains Surrounding me ready to kick me down if I decide to try and get back up Mental exhaustion is real in this exhibition called life I just ask myself is mine really over...