Catch 22

It's a catch 22 When I'm black and I'm blue Hurts so much but I care too much to move What do I do Got so much to prove The mirror looks down on me always I just wanna fill my own shoes My biggest critic is me It's so hard to deal with myself Tryna achieve whats expected but that is too high on the shelf I've always felt It's not always time to go up Patience is key Flying to close to the fan brings the fear that I'll clip my own wings Behind the scenes People are not what they seem People put on a facade to strike others with feelings of jealousy It's got me questioning Am I the truth If I do this for me what is the point Why do feel I it's an option to beg from my knees Crying out please Wonder if pain stricken pauper is what you all see When you're looking at me When you see me in public and look at my teeth And you notice my walk and the way that I lean Or the length of my hair or the size of my feet Or the hop in my step when I'm crossing the street No? Well that's a relief But if that's the truth Why are we all so self conscious About everything that we do It's a catch 22 It's a catch 22 When I'm black and I'm blue Hurts so much but I care too much to move What do I do Look beneath the surface, look under the skin At the person inside, who's buried within Stressing so much I can see my hair thin What if we lived Like there's more than the car in your drive And the chain on your neck Or the cream on your face And the size of your chest Put it to Rest People need not be impressed If you want that stress Be my guest You're opinion's the only that matters The sooner you teach yourself that The sooner you life can unshatter And you can put everything back At the end of the day when they're digging my grave they're digging my hole and their digging it deep And they're carving my stone and they're writing my name Composing the words that sit underneath What will it be Will I be known for the racks in my bank or the way I push through Or the gas in my tank and the cash that I grew Or that to my word I was true It's a catch 22