All for Nothing

I'm driving reckless, My girl's nervous Cause she knows I look cool on the surface but my brain's running circles What's this life's purpose? Am i destined to be something Or just get washed away with the currents of all these burdens All these urges, I been refereeing back to my past versions Like am I better than when I rapped those last verses? Have I changed now that I've got some new wishes? Is it too much to ask to seek my new ambitions? No new bitches, like I lost my digits Got some new restrictions that prohibit me from my weekly spirits Now i weakly pivot towards the end of my limits I'm not religious but begging God for some extra minutes Like, don't take me now, I've got commitments And I promised my mama a lot of life transitions And this prison of a sickness Isn't what I asked for when i claimed to be the illest That was just a metaphor I'm just here to spill my heart to you right now Got that feeling i don't have the time to write it down Used to be high, flying through the clouds But I burnt my wings and I'd close my eyes before I hit the ground And it was all for nothing Overcome with this feeling that so numbing And it was all for nothing Stuck in the same place even tho I'm running And it was all for nothing I didn't want to let go, I tried clutching And it was all for nothing I've lost track of who I'm becoming Constant eerie feeling Tight chested like I'm sinking That off timer in my head constantly ticking Whats the point of sticking it out Whats the end game about when I'm losing count of all who thought We had it figured out Its hard to look at the body count optimistically but If you're not around, metaphorically or physically May you rest in peace, if you happen to leave before me And may you live with ease if we happened to live separately Thumbs fiddling, thoughts skipping that feeling that something is always missing And I'm tired of overthinking So now I'm not depressed anymore, I'm just going through rough times I'm not an insomniac, I'm just having some bad nights I'm just confused, I haven't lost my will to survive I'm not worried, I'm thankful to be alive I'm thankful they tell me not to think otherwise I'm thankful buy into it even if tho a beautiful lie I'm just here to spill my heart to you right now Got that feeling i don't have the time to write it down Used to be high, flying through the clouds But I burnt my wings and I'd close my eyes before I hit the ground And it was all for nothing Overcome with this feeling that so numbing And it was all for nothing Stuck in the same place even tho I'm running And it was all for nothing I didn't want to let go, I tried clutching And it was all for nothing I've lost track of who I'm becoming