Ranch Microphone

Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday's getting bland Feels like I'm all alone With my ranch microphone But then I realize Hot mic on Instagram Live Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world's got a chance If life is just a salad Guess I'm making healthy choices Sound check with the bottle cap I'm warming up my voice and Flip into a freestyle Now I'm riffin' off the dome piece Slip into the zone Just as the tempo starts to increase Life is obscene Feels so serene Trapped in a bowl That is filled with mixed greens No one can stop me From bringing the topping Here comes the ranch Bottle is popping Bringing the sauce Time for a toss Knee deep in vegetables Kickin' it raw What's going on? Here come the tongs Slingin' a remix Caught in the prongs Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday's getting bland Feels like I'm all alone With my ranch microphone But then I realize Hot mic on Instagram Live Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world's got a chance Something's really buggin' me Yeah, it's my smoke detector Thing is on low battery And it is beeping constantly Much respect for fire safety Down with Safety Pup But it's driving me insane And now I've really had enough Exit my apartment And I duck into an alley Jump into the dumpster And transport to Hidden Valley Must of accidentally fallen Down into a portal Though I'm in a foreign land I somehow feel immortal Does it seem familiar Is it me being unstable? Cause it looks just like the bottle Of my ranch right on the label Not sure what is happening I'm discombobulated I guess singing into condiments Is vastly underrated Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday's getting bland Feels like I'm all alone With my ranch microphone But then I realize Hot mic on Instagram Live Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world's got a chance Suddenly it's like a concert Sprouts up from the ground Veggies playing instruments In Dolby full surround Carrot's on the bass Lettuce on the drums Cucumber's on lead guitar And now he starts to strum Appearing right in front of me Though I don't understand It's a slender stalk of celery I realize it's a stand Pull out my ranch mic And I notice it's plugged in Now it's making sense to me That's when I start to sing Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch (I've got my bottle of ranch) Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday's getting bland (when everything's tasting bad) Feels like I'm all alone (I'm so solo) With my ranch microphone (my microphone) But then I'm amped to see (I'm amped to see) My veggie band with me (veggie band with me) Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world's got a chance