you can never feel this pain

You can never feel this pain Light one up every day this weed hit me like a train Pour out some liquor for my brothers Remembering over they mothers and fathers But we gotta stay strong and push this weight Cause this pain is some shit i can't take And that's on god The almighty I done been through more shit then you so don't fight me And just cause i was close to sleeping on the street Don't you dare write me off Cause i done went through this nightmare before And i'm still living and breathing But barley this weed and cigarette smoke got my lungs feeling heavy And popping xans just ain't the answer Seen too many written off by cancer And had my own blood stabbed to death God forgive me cause if i ever go off the rails I'm taking everyone of you last motherfuckers with me So you can see and endure the greatest pain of all Seeing my own mother cry cause of my lies I wish a motherfucker like me would just die You can never feel this pain I try so hard to hide these scars Trying to keep myself intact But knowing there's never a way back Never thought i could be suicidal But when god put down my idol I could start feeling the stains in my brain Smoking sess to relieve the pain Had been at my worse I put my life into these words and every verse Cause i done ready lost my heart Turned ice cold a long time ago Spin the block never fold Down here the 68 Tryna get to heaven's gates But my drug game relation And the devil's temptations Still holding me down I'm prolly never coming out The boys rolling louds Got me high up in the clouds Don't know if i'll ever come down Sell a pound then i dip Fireball, lean and vanilla coke in my cup I take a sip To ease the pain Pouring black liquor on the floor reminiscing For my lost ones I never got to hold Livin this life is a sin A few blessings and mostly curses No lie I grew up a bitch Allowed myself to get beaten Knocked right off my feet Allowed a hoe to cheat First time Seeing a dead body when i was 14 She was laying there lifelessly I felt my whole world shatter She was everything to me Starting doing different drugs Getting fucked up Can't get out of this slope Now i got this rope Holding it against my neck To end this suffering in my brain Cause i was born with pain My elders before me passed it down to me They tried to get me help But i don't believe in that shit My life is too crippled and broke To be written in a script And become another stat My life might life might be a little more worth then that I'm so over cryin, waitin and hoping playing the blame game Instead of talking about real issues and internal pain Hell on earth can't describe the suffering I've witnessed But i gotta keep moving forward instead of bitchin Cause i'll never know when it'll be the last time i ever write a rhyme But maybe it that won't matter Cause i got secrets i can never tell Take them with me right to hell So i wanna tell you about wounds and scars You better sit up in your seat and listen to these bars You can never feel this pain I try so hard to hide these scars Trying to keep myself intact But knowing there's never a way back