Reasons

I hold my breathe For a minute I'm not even here I don't have anything to fear What's the point of shedding tears when I can count a billion reasons why I should just stay here I can count a billion reasons why I need to be clear How do I help myself When I won't tell anyone else What I do inside my room You think you know me but do you really know How I break down every night Silent cries In the LED light Hold it all inside I'll say that I am fine Who am I if not alright I know you see All the troubles and the messes I've made Don't know what to say Anything could pull the pin on the grenade It's a fight every time we're in the same room Words are knives and I'm hiding in the bathroom I might be here, You can obviously see me But I've been gone since 2018 And I can count a billion reasons why I shouldn't tell you But I can count a billion reasons why i need your help too How do I help myself? When I won't tell anyone else What I do inside my room You think you know me but do you really know How I break down every night Silent cries In the LED light Hold it all inside I'll say that I am fine Who am I if not alright And I wanted you to know That really love you so I need you to hear me when I say I'm really not okay I can count a billion reasons why I should just keep this inside And I can count a billion reason why i don't really want to die And I can count a billion things I do that's slowly killing me I know you have a billion reasons why you want to see me succeed I promise that I love you I just want you to be proud of me I hope one day we look back at these times and know we made it out alive And live happily