A Few Words

I'd like to say a few wordsIn defense of our countryWhose people aren't bad nor are they meanNow the leaders we haveWhile they're the worst that we've hadAre hardly the worst this poor world has seenLet's turn history's pages, shall we?Take the Caesars for exampleWhy within the first few of themThey were sleeping with their sisterStashing little boys in swimming poolsAnd burning down the CityAnd one of 'em, one of 'emAppointed his own horse Consul of the EmpireThat's like vice president or somethingThat's not a very good example, is it?But wait, here's one, the Spanish InquisitionThey put people in a terrible positionI don't even like to think about itWell, sometimes I like to think about itJust a few words in defense of our countryWhose time at the topCould be coming to an endNow we don't want their loveAnd respect at this pointIs pretty much out of the questionBut in times like theseWe sure could use a friendHitler. Stalin.Men who need no introductionKing Leopold of Belgium. That's right.Everyone thinks he's so greatWell he owned The CongoHe tore it up tooHe took the diamonds, he took the goldHe took the silverKnow what he left them with?MalariaA President once said,"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"Now it seems like we're supposed to be afraidIt's patriotic in fact and color codedAnd what are we supposed to be afraid of?Why, of being afraidThat's what terror means, doesn't it?That's what it used to mean[To the first eight bars of"Columbia The Gem Of The Ocean"]You know it pisses me off a littleThat this Supreme Court is gonna outlive meA couple of young Italian fellasAnd a brother on the Court now tooBut I defy you, anywhere in the worldTo find me two Italians as tightassAs the two Italians we gotAnd as for the brotherWell, Pluto's not a planet anymore eitherThe end of an empire is messy at bestAnd this empire is endingLike all the restLike the Spanish Armada adrift on the seaWe're adrift in the land of the braveAnd the home of the freeGoodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.