Gotta Be Good

Gotta be good, Gotta be good Can't fold for my family Gotta be good, Gotta be good Hold fast to the man in me Gotta be good, Gotta be good For my future generations To my son that didn't make it This for you, I gotta face it Gotta be good, Gotta be good Gotta be strong Gotta be good, Gotta be good This what I'm on Gotta be good, Gotta be good No I can't back down On my face you'll see a smile But inside my soul, a frown but I gotta be good When a woman looks at me a leader is what she must see All that bleakness feeling weak yeah from that we must flee We cannot be emotional, our tank must be empty And if you missing my meaning, check my song GMB But no manly mentality prepared me for this type of pain Apparently my days of parenting still some time away This bar is hard but to further the story I'ma say I never got to meet my sun, Dion Na'ade I speak life, so me I'm not the type to worry But like daylight savings, baby sun came bright and early Inside that womb I felt his power, sun too strong But when I saw him NICU told me your sun too gone Looked at the doctor thinking nah son you wrong Now my eyes hurt, been staring at my sun too long My mind clouded, face is raining as I start to tear January 1st, 21, what a way to start the year I'm trying to keep it pushing, but the pain ain't done yet Tell me why the same day that my sun rise, my sun set But I know I need to move in his memory, I can't fail him My brother asked was I gone be straight so I stand up and tell em that I Gotta be good, Gotta be good Can't fold for my family Gotta be good, Gotta be good Hold fast to the man in me Gotta be good, Gotta be good For my future generations To my son that didn't make it This for you, I gotta face it Gotta be good, Gotta be good Gotta be strong Gotta be good, Gotta be good This what I'm on Gotta be good, Gotta be good No I can't back down On my face you'll see a smile But inside my soul, a frown but I gotta be good A month later, still coping with the loss of my child I'm staying focused and notice, it ain't that hard to smile It took a while, but I'm kinda feeling fine But I knew it was a sign when my sister hit my line like Great grandma sick and it's bad Yeah she was scared, I see it They couldn't wake her from her nap Guess she was barely breathing Internal bleeding, pressure high, what they gonna do They was gonna bring her home but lo behold she got that Rona too She said she'd update me as the situation progresses I go about my day and try my best not to be stressing Later that night, my mama beep beeped my phone Her body released her soul, 3 words BB is gone, no Mama she called me and I could tell that she lost her nerve Cuz what she tried to say got lost in the mangled and garbled words And I feel the hurt, well more than hurt, tell me what the word When mother beloveds tears and spirit merge and mud the dirt I used to sit with grandma Bebe in her arm chair Now I use my arms here to lift her up and pallbear If I could just ball up and cry on the pew, I would But I had to be strong for my sis and my mom in the midst of it all Got a grip in my palms 'cause I Gotta be good, Gotta be good Can't fold for my family Gotta be good, Gotta be good Hold fast to the man in me Gotta be good, Gotta be good For my future generations To my son that didn't make it This for you, I gotta face it Gotta be good, Gotta be good Gotta be strong Gotta be good, Gotta be good This what I'm on Gotta be good, Gotta be good No I can't back down On my face you'll see a smile But inside my soul, a frown but I gotta be good Yeah man I was gone do a third verse But it's like I would need a fourth, fifth and sixth verse To actually talk about what's happened this year Obviously, you know, I lost my son My great grandma Turn around a couple months later and lost my daughter You know Job complications, man it's been so much Relationships in and out End of the day man Just gotta stand up and say it's just one of things Gotta be good Gotta be good, Gotta be good Can't fold for my family Gotta be good, Gotta be good Hold fast to the man in me Gotta be good, Gotta be good For my future generations To my son that didn't make it This for you, I gotta face it Gotta be good