Ambivalence

Everybody feels so far out of reach What's wrong with me I can't compete My mental state is getting weak Don't lose sight See Time is on our Side You broke my home This time I won't Let you come close This time I won't Let myself in that position with no benefits I want what's best for you can't you see that's evident I had a thousand lines to write for you that's punishment On my behalf, I should of known that I was suffering So I burnt that bridge Killed every thought that could reconstruct it I was so obsessed But that led to nothing I was so depressed and that led to something Bunch of sleepless nights praying up to god Started Losing faith was it just a facade I don't wanna say it is but I favor those odds And I don't wanna believe it but believing is all that I got so I'm gonna move on Rebuild my life it's a new dawn Few songs won't get me out of this town It's gonna take a couple hundred and self-doubt I'll buy out My reason for this I don't know anymore I lost sight of that Oh, About a year ago I just sit in my room with no purpose I lost all my courage These words just keep hurting So cover up me with this curtain Wish this feeling would go Nothing could numb all the pain that she wrote All of those messages What did I do never answered them That felt like ages ago Honesty hurts Your true intentions are so fucking worse You only cared when you benefit Blamed it on medicine You were my everything Why did I let him in I'm done with excuses I'm done feeling useless I don't really care anymore I lost my perception I lost that connection I don't wanna feel anymore I just miss the feeling of life I wanna start feeling alright But I'm scared I'll repeat what I had to just fight F*ck where is the light This time I won't Let feelings go This is time I won't Let feelings go Don't you dare leave again It's my own fault this toxic air Is killing me It's only right if I leave here So don't lose sight See Times on our side Cause times on our side Woah On our side Side Side Just put so much work and passion in the shit I do My skeletons I had to them bring out to talk to you Went back in time and watched someone Grow up barely knew The question still remains, I've been afraid I can't escape the shit he paved So What will I do? Lacking in energy, wish I could prove I just wanna show love But it's hard to receive it All of the hate in the world, can't we just leave it These times are deceiving me, I can't think They take up all of their emotion and then they pour a drink And then they tell me how they want a clear mental space I'm so done with feelings, so this time I say This time I won't Let feelings go This time I won't Lets feelings go