self doubt .

I take a look up in the mirror But I don't see me looking back I'm only kept intact by not the fear of death But the fear of never coming back Sometimes I ask is that so bad I just let my pen hit my pad Whenever I'm trapped inside my head Pushing back against what seems to be A different level of consciousness I can never seem to meet Eye to eye So I disguise myself Behind my window blinds And I'm just hiding out Until it all blows by But will I die before I see Me lookin back at myself I'm reaching hazardous health And I'm fighting battles in stealth Running in circles The ground below me suddenly starts to melt And Crumble before my feet I can't hold on to my wealth My dreams consist of paranoia I fear that they become real when I wake up in a dystopian hell hole All my biggest fears become reality Insanity grasping me Like Sean hannitys logical fallacies Feeling disassociated from What's real and what's fake And What is to become Envisioning pain and heartache And the more I take my time trynna Figure shit out I put my self in a drought No sight of a way out Digging a deeper hole I keep going no way to climb out And when the rain finally comes I'm buried in my own doubt