Inshallah

You know everything is inshallah Everything is gods will Even if you dont even agree with it Cause there's gonna be things Where you look back at That you prayed for that you got now You get me? Yeah I tap into my deepest pain To keep me sane The reaper hangs Like freezing rain I'm seeing things Biting my fingers Like they teething rings One verse equal to a ki of cain God is great speak his name Beefing with heathens Aint no reason I'ma be arraigned Millimeters bang Leaking brains auf wiedersehen All the wounds that we sustained Made us uniquely brave Every level the rules change Can you complete the game Racist policies detain And bodies being drained My girl seeing me through this Last thing that bothers me is paying I need to stop delaying She gotta see a ring Because I owe her my life Honesty and name Inshallah God forgive me Lost my mommy in 19 And a baby in 2020 Question the plan Like what does he want from me Growing sick of quoting scriptures Going against my own religion Showing symptoms No conviction Show me wisdom I know I'm slipping First time in my life I'm scared of fasting Gotta confront my terrible actions Air mattress to Paris fashion Retail therapy cover madness Can't imagine All the things I use to be distracted I'm supposed to be growing But emotionally broken So I'm caught in systems Of narcissism Missing altruism My conscience caught in prison Of my faults and schisms Couldn't believe my eyes When I walk in the room oh I felt the calmest of wounds ugh Allah could you I mean damn Why you put my momma on tubes The very next year you killed my daughter in a womb Still I prayed Salah Though I I couldn't talk and I couldn't walk The time I just watched it move They protesting with no change ugh Shoot rubber bullets with no aim nah You don't know pain My dad don't know blame He asked me why I don't call I don't know Greg F*ck I don't know Greg Inshallah You know the first thing I wanted to do when I found out I was gonna be a father Was talk to my mom And I hadn't spoke to my mom for almost two years before she died And so like that let me know how damaged I was and how much you know I needed to heal And it wasn't until I lost my baby did I realise how much I wanted to be a dad Like I knew I was excited but it wasn't until I lost the opportunity Did it really hit me And I remember when I phoned my father and I was telling him like what was happening This nigga was like I'm glad I'm not in your shoes So when I say I don't know why I don't phone him Because I already know everything he's gonna say before hand So I don't even bother with the phone conversation you get me But everything is Inshallah man I'm just trying to move trying to heal And I dont I don't pretend to overstand all the plans but sometimes man it can't be that