I Tried to Smell the Sunflower but It Wasn't Real

I feel that I am not meant to be here Yet your presence has convinced me to face my fears But I have found that when I truly needed love I could not look to you, but only above And I know, that sometimes you gotta go Somewhere you have never before truly known It doesn't mean that you are bad It doesn't mean that I am sad It just means that things just are the way they are Do you feel the way my heart beats for you Do you feel the way I promised you That I would be there until it stopped And even after that For you didn't want to get caught As you saw, through my empty words, my flaws And you wanted a way out so you killed my thoughts Now I'm back on the road you found me on, all alone You wonder why I want to die Well, here, just listen to my cry Why, oh why I said what have I done to deserve this I don't want to think about it anymore I just know that I was born and it feels like everything I've lived was a lie You were the first person that I felt like I could trust But I guess I should've stuck to my eternal disgust, with everyone Now I'm back here on my own, and you're up there on your throne Do you find comfort knowing you've left me all alone Does it make you feel better when you wear my heart as a sweater Does it make you feel loved to know that I wish there was a rope on which I would be hung