Peace & Negativity

All this poison in my head I'm infected with this feeling in my chest I wanna throw up, I feel sick from all this stress I hate this negativity, want peace instead I want peace instead All these voices want me dead They get louder when I'm laying in my bed I think too much and I just want the pain to end Don't want this negativity, want peace instead Tell me where it went, yeah Pause, I'm losing my mind Music, I'm trying to write Cause? I'm losing the site Don't know what I want in life God? Believe him, I might But I don't let that use of my time Hard, that's how I define Most of my difficult life Constantly running from things that might haunt me I won't let them possibly bother me My mind to ornery I'd rather be sleeping or in the stu' working That's where I'm secure, mentally If you could find me, I'd probably be In the depths of my memories just reminiscing On things that I wish I could go back in time and be When it was simple and easy But now I know aging is killing me As I get older, I get more aware of the moments I gotta sleep And the fact that I gotta trade all of this time that I use for activities Just to gain energy Yeah, it's depressing so I have been trying to enjoy the air that I breathe 'Cause eventually I'll have to admit my defeat to All this poison in my head I'm infected with this feeling in my chest I wanna throw up, I feel sick from all this stress I hate this negativity, want peace instead I want peace instead All these voices want me dead They get louder when I'm laying in my bed I think too much and I just want the pain to end Don't want this negativity, want peace instead Tell me where it went, yeah All these unbearable thoughts, I've been losing control Of my train of thought, no, it won't let me go Try keeping distracted, I'm always at war Gotta drown out the noise with this music I wrote Scrolling my Instagram, post after post I'm dying of boredom, and feeling alone Don't know what to do with these thoughts that I hold My peacefulness faded away like a ghost And all this depression replaced it Bottles and bottles of pills advocated Tired of taking this pain medication all day And then faking and saying "I'm doing okay" It's outrageous, I'm feeling deep-slated This pain got me graved, I can feel me decaying I'm sick of my brain just creating these statements That had me believing I'm not gonna make it This mono tone life that I'm living Desaturate all of the colors that's in it Sick of existing because my existence is just repetition It's endless like all this poison in my head It's a headache I can't sleep away I ain't been sleeping much With all this poison in my head I'm infected with this feeling in my chest I wanna throw up, I feel sick from all this stress I hate this negativity, want peace instead I want peace instead All these voices want me dead They get louder when I'm laying in my bed I think too much and I just want the pain to end Don't want this negativity, want peace instead Tell me where it went, yeah Mm, will you tell me where it Tell me where it, tell me where it went