Mithril Axe to Grind

Why does beef stew always sound so good In those long ass books written by sad white men? And why does fairy land involve some master plan To gain the upper hand? Well they draw us in with all the journeyin' With juicy bad omens and heroes left unsung And as you settle in Just a few pages in It's a gratuitous description of somebody's tits Describe her "lithe" body Not meant for you and me It's meant for somebody called "Joe Everyman" We are sex positive, just give us some consent Brain in her head, some autonomy Come on, don't be such a damn coward And hey, another thing What's up with all those orcs Your racial metaphors really need some work These books are friends to me Full of immense beauty I'll wish for hobbit feet every day of my life Just have an axe to grind with one singular voice being heard Perhaps grand destinies could be for everyone Think of all the wizards, dragons, royal intrigue Magic crystals, shadowy figures, prophetic weapons Honey wine, unknown creatures, epic quests, enchanted forests To explore