Rom 8:1

How can I be a new creature if memory serves to remind me Eyes stuck behind me How can I set defenses with my enemy still inside me Yelling come find me I'm scared they'll surprise me Living in terror, I'm hiding From all of my thoughts No wonder I can't stand a moment of silence Shhhh People keep asking me when I'll come back to the spot where I've been No evil intent It's said with a grin But I'm petrified that the cycle has started again Forgetting our pleasure could come with causality Set our intentions to focus on apathy Wanted our sex to be casual No wonder there's so many casualties Let me show you the burn marks that broke hearts Faces that burn scars where rooms dark Play on the ceiling, dancing to beats that're too marred And too far away to hear the snap of a heartstring Apparently, I still can't stand the silence, so I sing Left to myself, deconstruction's what I bring Virtues like vices, my dreams held in vice grips Taking poor shots cause I missed all the timing No, wait, the problem is deeper It's buried beneath all this Christian demeanor It's buried in fathoms, can't fathom the meters It's buried in tiers, a natural feature I'm missing my fear, how long since I seen her And I'm treating wisdom like I never need her I should probably step back, 'fore all of my setbacks from way back end at me greeting the Reaper (Lord!) So where is the hope that you promised Cause I don't feel jack if I'm honest My thoughts are so loud that they drown out the sound of the prophets (Lord!) And all of the streams of my conscience Head from the left at a constant Rate of descent, despite my dissent So all of my words feel subsonic Cause all that I read are the comments And all I believe look like comics I can believe there's power for others but never myself I'm fit for the garbage I'm trying to say that I'm common I do not feel special, I feel like the opposite Why would you go out your way to redeem me again I'm already so tarnished I need more than a polish and manicure But you hung on three nails, affixed to a tree, next to two thieves, people like me My sin is abolished, this man is cured Forget my description, I'll copy yours The fear of the Lord is beginning of wisdom I started with ships and then got in a fish and three fitful nights later, back on the shore I needed to switch definitions Who told me my mission was forfeit Myself and my enemy, they need to (BE QUIET) I'm learning my lesson, I needed to (stop) Bringing up sin you forgave and for(got) If you call me a son, all my charges you (drop) If you're making me new, then that is reality My garments are white no more blemish or spots It don't matter what my mind said I'm still made new It don't matter what my heart said I'm still made new