HTBS

"How to be suicidal well um, idk, i guess you could Think about what you did wrong, not just the bullshit, think like actually Every argument with your dad not happening could've given you a happier family Maybe if i didn't lie, ruin a bond with everyone i ever knew I wouldnt be alone, and overly dwell maybe then youd wanna kill yourself like Maybe if you thought about everything that you fucked up You would agree with the fact that it's true I start to talk to myself in reflection and lose the connection of strait up depression I'm repeating lessons again and again when I learn through abuse Honestly I feel like I'm gonna lose it "I got bored" thats fuckin stupid, i lost love and i lost trust I lost innocence, i lost loyalty, i lost everything all for what I don't miss her, I'm just sad, cus she aint deserve to go through that And i just shit talked right past, cuz i was upset with myself in fact It was a period all in a year, i lost my aunt, my uncle and friend to the clouds in the sky I fuckin miss them, maybe its tI'me I'm seeing them when i say hi I never picked up the phone and regret it, i lost connection with family i get it We all got busy and i got depression and got to the point where the point aint connecting And there How to be suicidal I got cocky for shit that i hate, all of the music and lyrics was fake I wanted hits, and money and fame, and i wanted to say it was all for my family Even my family knows that changed, i wanna find myself, i wanna love myself I wanna change who i am, i wanna die for relief Not ending but sI'mply to help to the best that i can More so the people i hurt would be happy, that last breath could relax myself Being dead would make others glad so I guess it's good for my mental health I'm reading this now and it's been like a year, i didn't know i could get so low But what i've learned is loving yourself brings others and that you are never alone And loving yourself isn't sI'mply just love on its own, there's plenty of thoughts that go into it Like loving a hobby and loving a god, loving a job, ok ya thats stupid To use more for example, but you know you know what i mean Things get better if falling the only out is up so climb back up with me and live