My Journal (feat. JustDan Beats)

I was born with a eating disorder so I guess I'm hungry Fat shamed me as a kid like what did you want from me Funny how those funny jokes just never seem that funny I have my mom and fam I used to say my dad but past tense really seems to haunt me It really seems to hurt you can never be too different if your friends are first You can't always be the best until you've been the worst Or seen it hurt and felt it more and tried to run away just me well it's not important I promise that it's not I had to change myself to feel like I was liked a lot I wrote songs that I know I didn't like a lot I did wrongs that I know were never right a lot I was weak always Tryna get in fights a lot and lost everything I knew I had in sight A lot of times I was crying lost between the ties to nots And what I needed more scared for my life a lot I used to smile and fit in like everybody else I got a girlfriend mom and 2 brothers and Myself And i know it's all I need but maybe I'd be nice to have a friend to talk to When my heart rates too high when I can't breathe anxiety Can't see I'm blind and can't think I'm dying and questioning my mind I'm so sick of lying I'm so sick of trying but if I'm not trying am I wasting my time Here's a fresh start I'm Isaiah and I go by Saij my mom made the name and rapping is My Aim I'm five seven but I wanna be five eight I'm emotional but like to either hide or cope with Pain I like sports music and being on the stage I'm competitive maybe too much but it's okay I keep positive with every single thing I try to say But then the negatives hit and never go away Man I'm fucked up but I'm not I don't even know Tryna find a way to get up off this moving roller coaster Life gets going and the tough won't go So it's either I stop or no Tryna get out of this different increment harder every single second I'm living it woh Tryna get off this page I'm Tryna call it a phase Thinking I might just get better when overtime but inside I'm stuck in overtime like a game all my life oh my god Tryna figure this out and then go I got goals that I need to accomplish right now Time won't wait and neither will I how Ever I don't care if I'm liked by the right crowd Ima feed the fam and change the lives of all of the kids round I'm saying