I've Fallen

Just recently I was considering suicide The past seventeen years were the only thing that was on my mind I’ve been to hell and back, from this point onwards, it will all decline I’m killing off my body, I’m already dead on the inside You ain’t gotta talk bout me, nah Nah, please don’t talk bout me, nah I already see your looks in the halls, your my anxiety dealer I’ve got stress fever Music is my healer There's this sense of joy when I hear my voice through that speaker But I can’t match the score that life set out for me I can’t equalise the negatives when positives are brief I can’t keep climbing these rocks, when I don’t have time for grief Dear God, you took Rox away, you’re a fucking thief So I’ll just keep on fighting for the memory of peace Reminiscing times where we didn’t need belief Life was so much easier when dad was home to greet I had to step up to keep my family complete Man of the house before I was 13 And when those other men took over, I was so relived But they just come and go, click, collect then straight delete Guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree I’m fighting with myself, I just wanna fucking die There’s pictures of her love in my tears when I cry You’ll never understand the guilt I felt at that time Cuz I’ll never let you in, not after all the tears I’ve cried I’ve been beaten to the ground, therapy is advised I have fought a mental war and they say I’m traumatised I just need some fucking pills but the doctor won’t prescribe But my age won’t matter when I’m coughing up my life I’m just lucky that my friends care for me We’ve all gone through pain but they all bare for me There is hope for me and it’s all there to see But I know I’ll fall if I don’t tread carefully