crashing

I've spent a long time running Building up hopes so my thoughts stop budging I've felt cut out of a life I was loving If I can't see straight I won't see nothing I don't get why I ain't adjusting It's hard to tell if these days i'm bluffing Thought it wouldn't be bad, but I just outdid it Not a damn hope left so it's just good riddance Cause I haven't felt like myself Questioning life, is it good for my health? I thought a bullet to the head would feel okay If I took my own life I'd put my friends in shame Yeah I know life's hard but I say it's fine I really need somebody's help this time If I can't steer straight then I might drift off I just wanna be happy but I guess i'm not Yeah it's been a long minute I'd say how I feel, but it's hard to admit it Cause there's no damn way I'd call this living When the knife in my back just keeps on digging I don't know why it's hard to escape Am I insane to think you'll tell me that you're ready to change? I'm searching through our memories, and there ain't nothing to save So if I give up what we have would that rid the pain? Yeah am I hard on myself? Every time you get upset you turn to somebody else And even though you think i'm worthless I know I could've helped Was leaving me alone and hopeless just a part of your spell? It's like a part of me is thinking that I'm going insane There ain't a remedy to cure a fucking ounce of the pain I guess losing what we had was just a part of your game And even after all this time you still have nothing to say I am not focused, yeah I am broken Thinking bout shit you left unspoken Staying on track thats part of the motion Tryna stay afloat six deep in the ocean Thats devotion That's what's grossing Tryna blame me for being more open These days I can't tell who's joking Know if I'm gone that's what you're hoping Yeah it starts with a text Then it moves to the next You must've forgot your passion I thought you were the best No way i'd attest Cause it ain't my brand of fashion Just imagine if this had gone down exactly how you planned Then you'd be happy on your own, and I could be a better man I step through the ashes Of all the blind pain and sadness When you call me I don't pick up Cause I only make time for my dreams and passions Yeah I know that we could've lasted I'm sorry that didn't really happen But at least you came out happy At the moment I'm still crashing Yeah cause I can't look you in the face when I see the way you burnt my pride And I know that all of these fears are the reason why I'm thinking bout How I could be so blind For the way you talk to me Were you wrong for me? I know you couldn't give your all for me Every night I hear you call for me I just wish I didn't give you all of me I'm not down with the sickness Mind is the witness Maybe I thought we'd go the distance Begged for the simplest things Yeah we both know you never even knew my interests That's the difference You kept switching up your mind till you were twisted Maybe this could work in time but I know you'll just throw me in the dirt Yeah in the dirt Yeah, yeah, aye I see you switching up your mind so this could work No this won't work It'll never work Yeah