Addiction's Issues

Ten past nine, just parked up on Bute Street Don't need to pay 'cus the late night parking's free Speed-walking just so I don't miss the bus I'm faded so I knew I'd be out of luck Course I missed it, head into the corner store Town's VS I'm stressed as I come through the door Picked up a drink and B&H Superkings Rushed back to the car so I don't miss my shift Off to Milton Keynes, Junction 13 Work at Magna Park gotta park at Fen Street Poured up another bottle 'cus December was a struggle Had too much on my mind Knew this night I'd be in trouble Made it barely there on time thanks to a quick drive Think I was on the right lane the whole time Was always on top when I started at the warehouse Worked so hard had them searching for my whereabouts But the higher ups clocked on that I was using Knew deep down about the drugs I was abusing Didn't really help 'cus when Busy passed away I revealed to a boss that I was high every day Somehow they still let me stay But it got to a point where I couldn't earn my pay Texts went stale, the contract failed Left with cigarette fumes and stuck at this trail Chasing the same first high that I had I remember the first pill I had in my hand I was gassed like the canisters I'd blow on in the whip More balloons than a clown at a circus gig Man I miss that job, had a stable income Now I'm trying to spend wise 'till another one comes Keep getting asked when I'm going back to work I ain't gonna lie I've been chilling off the percs Oh and by wise I mean paying for my highs 'Cus if I don't spend the savings on the drugs then I'd die Withdrawals are fucked and it's hard to taper off It's hard to just stop man, it's hard to just stop Free will I made too many mistakes Now it feels like piss having to sip everyday Feel like I've got my old man's memory loss Repeating to myself that my whole life was wrong Thinking of the shame every time I write my songs I'll be deeping my choices forever 'till I'm gone And I don't really like to do this storytelling shit But my heart's in so much pain, it's losing it's fitness Feel like the main target of a hit list Devil in my head tryna push me into sinning Need more time just to put myself out there Find someone who would actually care Eight billion people on this earth Can't even find one that can comprehend my words To be honest I'm surprised I made it this far Amount of times I could've ended it is way too much Depression kicked in and it got so dark The NHS doing f*ck all on their part I don't even blame them this whole thing's corrupt I was a smart youth on the right path But put into a crowd full of drinking and drugs All 'cus of voices put into my eardrums Psychosis, heads feeling wavy Might need to start taking mum's meds daily She got the shit that I think that can save me I'm too scared though to admit that I'm crazy Saint21, LTowN 'till I drown And I'm drowning, and I'm drowning Gone off track think I need rerouting Too much temptation gets frightening Brain zaps feel like I'm struck by lightning Thinking of the end man I might just try it Seeking the meaning of our lives can't find it Thinking of the end man I might just try it Seeking the meaning of life, shit