Elden Ring (Gettin' Wrecked)

I rolled into Margit, thinking I'm slick, But he smashed me with his cane, real quick, I tried to dodge, but he's got range, Suddenly, phase two – this dude's deranged! Throws a hammer, pulls a sword, Who gave this guy so much reward?! Down I go, splat on the floor, But I'll respawn – time for more! Oh, I'm gettin' wrecked in Elden Ring, Every boss fight's a brand-new sting, Axes, flames, and magic flings, They crush me, but I keep on swingin'! I'm gettin' wrecked, but I'll stand tall, At least until I hit the wall! Yeah, I'm gettin' wrecked, but that's the game, Next boss, new pain, same ol' shame! Then came Godrick, what a sight, Two dozen arms, like he's ready to fight, I said, "Come on, man, that's a bit unfair," Next thing I know, I'm flying through the air! His dragon arm's breathin' fire, My health bar drops, oh, I'm in the mire, Thought I could win, maybe in an hour, But nah, I'm toast – crispy, with a shower. Oh, I'm gettin' wrecked in Elden Ring, Every boss fight's a brutal thing, Dragon arms, lightning wings, They smack me down, but I keep on swingin'! I'm gettin' wrecked, but I'll stand tall, At least until I hit the wall! Until I crash into a spiked wall! Yeah, I'm gettin' wrecked, but that's the show, At least I'm learning… real slow. In the land of Caelid, I met Radahn, Riding a horse too small for his brawn, He's the size of a mountain, no lie, And me? One hit, I'm kissing the sky! Meteors rain, he drags me in, His gravity's pulling, it's not a win, I summoned the crew, we charged with pride, But guess what? Yeah, we all died. Oh, I'm gettin' wrecked in Elden Ring, Every boss fight makes my ears ring, Meteors, stars, and giant swings, They crush me flat, but I keep on swingin'! I'm gettin' wrecked, but I'll rise once more, Just let me pick my jaw off the floor! Yeah, I'm gettin' wrecked, but hey, who's counting? These bosses are more like freaking mountains! Then there's Malenia, blade in hand, With every hit, she takes a stand, She heals herself with every slice, "Bro, that's cheating!" I yelled – not nice! Her second phase? A scarlet bloom, I just sat there, waiting for doom, Rot all over, and there I lie, Covered in mold – I didn't even try. Oh, I'm gettin' wrecked in Elden Ring, Every boss fight's a stinging thing, Blades, rot, and healing springs, They slap me silly, but I keep on swingin'! I'm gettin' wrecked, but I'll stand my ground, Once I find where my corpse was found! Yeah, I'm gettin' wrecked, but that's the deal, Why does her sword make me feel like a meal? Finally reached Radagon and his glowing bling, But wait, here comes the Elden Beast thing, Swimming in stars like a cosmic whale, I ran and dodged but oh, I failed, Lasers and rings, who designed this guy?! I couldn't survive, no matter how I try, One last blast, my health bar's drained, Guess what? Elden Lord? Nope, just pain. Now I thought I was done, but here comes more, Shadow of the Erdtree opened a new door, First boss? Can't even pronounce his name, I blinked twice – dead again