Strain

I never know when the fever starts to growI only realise that my mind is gonna blowNo emotion, no fusion, just a vision of easeWhen I float into nothing and wait for some peaceYou'll never find out why all my senses cryYou'll never know that my heart is gonna dieIt's an illusion of nothing, a filthy picture of decayLike in a minute of silence and some pulse-delayWithout our self-relief, there would be no hate or griefIt makes me wonder why, we don't just decide to dieWithout our phantasie there'd be no fear inside us allIs there anybody out there, do you hear me call?If you decide to seek the truthBeyond the seal of constant youthYou'll find an empty desperate strain'cause inside of me there's nothing more than ... pain!Feel free to heal & lose yourselfIn moments of sorrow & emptinessKeep breathing for another revivalConstruction of night & a secret denialI thought this little jewel would help let me forgetTo abandon reality (&) the moments I regretTo shed all emptiness, destroy despairThe burning smell of scars is waving through the airSometimes I used to feel that wounds will never healOn the horizon of forgiveness there's nothing here to sealInstead it seems to kill me slower than I thoughtIt's only flashy moments that I have caughtAnd nails are piercing me, like in a grief of killing spreeAll fear inside my brain is starting to haunt me againIt's all fucked-up somehow, a burden more to takeI erase myself by now, don't want to awake