Diet Song

Well breakfast black coffee one slice of dry toast no butter no jelly no jamLunch just some lettuce two celery stalks no booze no potatoes no hamDinner one chicken wing broiled not fried no gravy no biscuits no pieAnd this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to dieSo pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's allTurn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial it's drivin' me straight up the wallAnd I'm think' of french fries sausage and waffles spaghetti and cookies and cakeAnd each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream andI'm starvin' to death when I wake all for your sakeYou're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed potatoesBut it's bouillon and water for me and you got a lock on the refrigeratorLord knows where you're hidin' the keyAnd while I am starvin' for food late at night I'm starvin' for lovin' from youBut you say that when I can see my own dick you'll be glad to look at it tooSo supper two pieces of cauliflower raw some beefsteak the size of a nailOne sliced tomato a small dab of slaw I swear I ate better in jailStop eatin' that pizza right under my nose girl that's the least you can doAnd put down that candy bar while I am singin' I'm starvin' my ass off for youAnd when I am dead with the insurance paid you'll look down at me and you'll grinYou'll say well the boy tried and he suffered and diedBut don't he look good when he's thin