i still (insurmountingly sadcore)

I still remember the day that it clicked for me You were using me for all your little games And how you raped me every day I still remember the way that you Talked me into fucking you After I said no like twenty times 'cause you were on your period I'm serious when I say I hope you die alone after spending life in jail and I'd be okay with it Still blown away with The way that you got away with everything you did to me You broke my brain now there's no fixing it I still think of the way You said you fucked me just to entertain yourself And it made me blame myself I'm still disgusted with The way you acted disgusted when I told you I was disgusted with the way it made me feel When I was covered in blood you skipped the discussion when I told you that you fucked me when I didn't want you to And you just said it didn't count And you just said it didn't count I still I still I still remember the day that you sucked my dick like Five times in a row and by the third time it just hurt But if I said no, then you'd be pissed for the rest of the night You really normalized the way you treated me It's so fucked up I was just sixteen when you rewired my brain to have sex be all I think about And not just that but it's something that I crave now And it's so inhumane how I hope this time you dig your grave and fall in it And the worst part of all of it is I can't say I hate you Guess I never got that far I still remember the day you said you fucked me just to entertain yourself I hope you blame yourself 'Cause now I have to blame myself For what you did to me And I'll always have to blame myself Or shift the blame to others who just fucked me just for entertainment Just to entertain themselves