Chinese Vacation

Your grandma's on a walker in the old folk's homeYour grandpa lost his dentures and he's starting to foamYour dad's inside a biker bar; he's acting like a turdHe's sittin' on a stool and yelling “play Free Bird!”Well I'm wondering what the heck is wrong with all of your kinYour sister stole my credit card and figured out my PINAnd the love you say you have for me is just imaginationI'm gonna send your ass on a Chinese vacationSo far awayI'm sending you away todayDown Beijing wayAcross the wall you'll join the frayAnd I'm feeling really gay‘cause you're a million miles awayYou stabbed me in the heart with a plastic forkYou chewed me up and spit me out like sweet-n-sour porkAnd when the waiter brought the bill you just expected me to payYou ran out with some moviestar and left me here to stayI'm wondering what the hell that I'm supposed to doI'm sick of love and feel just like I got the fluWell what the doctor ordered for me is some rejuvenationI'm gonna send your ass on a Chinese vacationSo far awayI'm sending you away todayDown Beijing wayAcross the wall you'll join the frayAnd I'm feeling really gay‘cause you're a million miles awayI coulda been happy just to take any chanceI'd seduce ya, and kiss you, and search for romanceI got a chopstick reserved for you deep in my pantsBut you sting just like antsAnd you're making it so hard to danceHey, I forgot how to do the danceYour heart is like an army that can do no wrongYou treat me like a puppet state, I'm just TaiwanSo go ahead and call the guard and call off all of your troopsMy tears are just as salty as this wonton soupAnd my strength is just as limp as a Chinese noodleWhat the hell are you trying to feed me;Is it pork or is it poodle?I need a special visa from the United NationsI'm gonna send your ass on a Chinese vacationSo far awayI'm sending you away todayDown Peking wayAcross the wall you'll join the frayAnd I'm feeling really gay‘cause you're a million miles awayBut I feel so sad todayLike you're a billion miles away