The Phone Rings

The phone rings, I try not to avoid things Staring into the void and I'm sinking in It's like when Luke saw Anakin Seeing all the damages, reacting like "You're still a sack of shit" Relationship complicated to say the least Wondering if I'll feel the same when he's deceased I remember grandpa dying, never seen that sadness in your eyes Reluctantly providing a shoulder to cry on Should I let bygones be bygones? Trying to to turn me against my mom Verbal attacks on me and my brother's self-esteem Made me confuse strength with being hella mean My perspective now is what lead to this Deep embedded memories I bet you regretting Times like these I remember actually That your journey was way worse than I could ever imagine And some of my homies didn't even have this So I guess should appreciate what I can get And yet, all I remember is the bad shit Asking myself am I doomed to repeat these actions? Some I already have and it kills me Not sure how you could just live feeling guilty Eyes water staring into the fucking fire Thinking this could use another liar You're not as good as you wanna believe Every time in front of the mirror, you got up to leave Accountability, doubt he got humility Unfortunately this could be about him or me Built a lot on a lie Trying to kill the thoughts in my mind The venomous from a toxic bloodline F*ck it I'm a pick up and drop it, it's fine