Out In The Open

The way I see things ain't always the same How my mind works ain't always this sane When I was in pain, I enjoyed the perks Little did I know a bit of evil would lurk With that being said Don't blame a substance It was my persistence, I wanted distance No coexisting, was my own affliction I needed fixing but my mind is missing Had no direction, skewed perception As a confession, it was my depression That led me to believe it would make me better Didn't feel pleasure Avoided pressure I couldn't even really enjoy the weather Me, myself, and I, we were all together Ties were severed but I'm never alone Yet it's a habit, I'm on my own Thinkin' bout sins I can never atone I lose control Behave in a way I can never condone But you got to understand My mind started goin' 'fore it ever began Feel a bit hazy Who are you to blame me They be crunching' numbers, I ain't a statistic Lil bit cryptic, lil explicit Being sadistic is my only consistent Aside from feeling like I'm insufficient My visions tunneled Now even my thoughts are muffled Under the weather I want to be better But my past is an anchor That I can't get untethered Told a shrink I wanna surpass Who I was in the past And all she did was laugh I lose ahold Mentally, I decompose Walk out feelin' worse than before Feel a bit hazy Who are you to blame me They say "you're bumming us out" Lil bit cryptic, lil explicit Being sadistic ain't my only consistent Come on class We're goin' on a field trip Let's not make a scene of it Let's see the twisted Let's see the wicked And every bit of evil we can get from within it As I walk through the darkness I notice a dark mist It's my inner artist Might as well be a carcass Still hit my target Committed some arson Gifted malevolence That was the bargain Thought you got pardoned But my heart got hardened Raise potential for carnage You're a stencil for garbage Your head in a door hinge 'Til your dead or sell oranges Look ahead as your blood drips Thought I was done Guess you were wrong Become entranced as I sing my song Don't feel like I belong Withdrawal my impulsive response Feel no remorse for what you got on Laugh as you struggle Stay out of my bubble They doubt that I'm trouble But your status will crumble As you funnel your bullshit You're a hypocrite that's got to recommit Lickety split Pigidy did it Clickety clock Goes the Glock And I watch time countdown the clock That we pay for our wrongs And our morals all fog And our humors all clog Line your body with chalk I'm not a monster Just ahead of the curve You said you are nervous Cause you can't find your purpose Be one of a kind, let's be part of a circus Then achieve rigor mortis To be resurfaced Providing a service Don't be a servant, you are more than a sermon You are your own person