N3VRM7ND

Waking up, another hazy afternoon The voices in my head will surely be here soon So alone yet so surrounded I left to find my mind I'll return when I've found it Don't pretend you that understand Don't try to swipe my falling hand I won't be a better man So f*ck right off do you understand A degree don't mean a fucking to me Your experiences don't translate with me I'm not the same as you Or anyone else I'm nearly fucking through At the end of the rope, slipknot screaming A monster in the mirror, a full smile gleaming Too bad I only live so that I can disappoint I'm stepping off the stool, stepping up to the flash point Too much of a roach for a suicidal overdose 50 Vallies wasn't enough, so I doubled up Heroin was just not a fucking option Feel your heart stopping just to wake up in the morning Feeling more alone than you can comprehend Everybody has somebody, or at least a means to an end Think I need therapy? Have I tried psychiatry I was told I can't be helped and Im better off without sobriety Hugh functioning is what they fucking called me I don't have to get clean so this service ain't for me What if I don't want to live this fucking life anymore For once you had to fucking think and instead you saved your fucking score So don't pretend that you understand Don't pretend that you care to relate I'm really not an evil man I'm just full of fucking hate So many fucking reasons for so many different people I can't help but stand there looking down that steep hill It consumes you, but it's pure ecstacy Have I even lost my mind or am I the remains of all sanity Am I already dead? Am I living in my head Is that why I can't die? Im already living dead Which moment was the one? There's many possibilities As a child of neglect or series of imbecilities Did I really fall to my death? Did the rod go through my fucking head Did that car hit me too hard, or'd the second one get me instead Did that fuckin run through really fucking happen ma Maybe I just didn't dial or pull the trigger fast enough Or maybe someone else pulled the trigger and they got me Only question is which one of these cunts fucking shot me Maybe it was through those years where I'd eat acid everyday Two Trips four trips six trips fucking eight When I never had a clue what the f*ck was going on Nah, I could have lost that game of chicken with a cop car Or maybe it's from the fact that I can't help but go all in First shot I had I weighed out a fatal dose of heroin Jesus fucking christ who do I have to f*ck to get a funeral No one ever takes the offer cunt it's not doable Now I'm fucking cursed to walk this wretched fucking earth Misunderstood so badly but always told that I don't get it