Christmas Eve

Years on end I've asked for things to be better I've asked for the courage to let them in Once again, it's Christmas time and What could be better than to ask for a little getaway? But yet again it really feels like Every time I make a list All that's on it is just a little happiness And I still remember that night Everything was crumbling down But I still tried to hold my tears and wave I'll be alone on Christmas Eve Thinking about too many things Thinking about the way you'd touch me If you were here I'll be alone these holidays I'll simply isolate myself So I won't have to think about My insecurities Oh Drowning in the wine glass in your hands It's not like I had better plans But every time I'm here I wanna disappear And everybody gasped I didn't even realize That tears were running from my eyes They sat and stared And my sleeves were rolled up I turned around Everyone could see my scars They asked, "Are you alright?" I couldn't reply And you screamed "You ruined the party!" It's not my fault I'm broken hearted And you said "You're too young to feel that kind of pain" And I just learned to shut it all away Like feelings are a privilege 'Cause I'm not worth the bother anyway I'll be alone on Christmas Eve Thinking about too many things Thinking about the way you'd hold me If you were here I'll be alone these holidays I'll simply isolate myself So I won't have to worry 'bout Ruining everything Insult to injury You swore I'd get over it But I feel like I'm an open wound I'll be alone this Christmas Eve Thinking about too many things Thinking about the way you'd touch me If you were here