Humpty Dumpty

Have you heard of one Humpty DumptyHow he fell with a roll and a rumbleAnd curled up like Lord Olofa CrumpleBy the butt of the Magazine Wall(CHORUS) Of the Magazine Wall&Hump, helmet and all?2. He was one time our King of the CastleNow he's kicked about like a rotten old parsnip.And from Green Street he'll be sent by order of HisWorshipTo the penal jail of Mountjoy(CHORUS) To the jail of Mountjoy! &Jail him and joy.3. He was fafafather of all schemes for to bother usSlow coaches and immaculate contraceptives for thePopulace, Mare's milk for the sick, seven dry Sundays a week, Openair love and religion's reform, (CHORUS) And religious reform&Hideous in form.4. Arrah, why, says you, couldn't he manage it?I'll go bail, me fine dairyman darling, Like the bumping bull of the CassidysAll your butter is in your horns(CHORUS) His butter is in his horns.&Butter his horns! (Repeat) Hurrah there, Hosty, frosty Hosty, change thatShirt on ye, Rhyme the rann, the king of all ranns! 5. We had chaw chaw chops, chairs, chewing gum, theChicken pox and chinaChambersUniversally provided by this soffsoaping salesman.Small wonder He'll Cheat E'erawan our local ladsNicknamed himWhen Chimpden first took the floor(CHORUS) With his bucketshop store&Down Bargainweg, Lower.6. So snug he was in his hotel premises sumptuousBut soon we'll bonfire all his trash, tricks andTrumperyAnd 'tis short till sheriff Clancy'll be winding up hisUnlimitedCompanyWith the bailiff's bom at the door(CHORUS) Bimbam at the door&Then he'll bum no more.7. Sweet bad luck on the waves washed to our islandThe hooker of the hammerfast vikingAnd Gall's curse on the day when Eblana baySaw his black and tan man-o'-war(CHORUS) Saw his man-o'-war&On the harbour bar.8. Where from? roars Poolbeg. Cookingha'pence, he bawlsDonnez-moiScampitle, wick an wipin'fampinyFingal Mac Oscar Onesine Bargearse BonifaceThok's min gammelhole Norveegickers monikerOg as ay are at gammelhore Norveegickers cod.(CHORUS) A Norwegian camel old cod.&He is, begod.Lift it, Hosty, lift it, ye devil ye! up with the rann, The rhymingRann! 9. It was during some fresh water garden pumpingOr according to the Nursing Mirror, while admiring theMonkeysThat our heavyweight heathen HumphareyMade bold a maid to woo(CHORUS) Woohoo, what'll she doo! &The general lost herMaidenloo! 10. He ought to blush for himself, the old hayheadedPhilosopherFor to go and shove himself that way on top of her.Begob, he's the crux of the catalogueOf our antediluvial zoo(CHORUS) Messrs. Billing and Coo.&Noah's larks, good asNoo.11. He was joulting by Wellinton's monumentOur rotorious hipppopopotamunsWhen some bugger let down the backtrap of the omnibusAnd he caught his death of fusiliers, (CHORUS) With his rent in his rears.&Give him sixYears.12. 'Tis sore pity for his innocent poor childrenBut look out for his missus legitimate! When that frew gets a grip of old EarwickerWon't there be earwigs on the green?(CHORUS) Big earwigs on the green, &The largest ever youSeen.Suffoclose! Shikespower! Suedodanto! Anonymoses! 13. Then we'll have a free trade Gaels' band and massMeetingFor to sod the brave son of ScandiknaveryAnd we'll bury him down in OxmanstownAlong with the devil and Danes, (CHORUS) With the deaf and dumb Danes, &And all theirRemains.14. And not all the king's men nor his horsesWill resurrect his corpusFor there's no true spell in Connacht or hell