The Cemical Genius

O a comical genius was thinking one dayHow he'd jack up his job and receive handy payHe did not like begging and work was too hardSo he got a bright notion to join up the guardDiddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum dayWell he went up to Dublin, to the depot went inGot a new suit of blue as bright as new pinsThey drilt him, they drilt him, they drilt him so hardThe old sergeant proclaimed him a full fledged guardDiddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum dayHe was stationed somewhere near the town of AthyOn the roads of the district he kept a close eyeThe girls they admired him as all brassers doFell in love with the guard and his new suit of blueDiddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum dayWell the girls they would wink and they'd nod as he passedO but this itchy guard had his eye on one lassAnd this little colleen, she being a die-hardShe made it quite clear that she wanted no guardDiddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum dayWell one time while on duty on a cold winter's nightSure he caught her out cycling without any lightWhere's your light, miss? says he; for an answer says sheIt's next to me liver, where you'll never beDiddly-i-dum diidly-i-dum diddly-i-dum dum day