I'm a Conservative

I used to lead a quiet life In fact it was a bare existence I passed out on many floors I don't do that any more Hello, my friends Is everybody happy? Hey, look me over Lend me an ear I'm a conservative I like the small black marks on my hands I'm a conservative I like the crazy girls that I screw Hey, I know them all well And when I run out of bread, I laugh All the way to the bank Sometimes I pause for a drink Conservatism ain't no easy job I smile in the mornings I live without a care Nothing is denied me And nothing ever hurts I got bored, so I'm making my millions When you're conservative, you get a better break You're always on the right side When you're conservative You walk with pride Pride is on your side Pride, pride, pride Is on our side Oh boy Pride is on our side I like my beer I like my bread I love my girl I love my head I'm in the clear, man I'm in the dear Because I'm a conservative I'm a conservative I really am Oh yes I am And it would mean so much to me If you would only be like me Yes, it could mean so much to me Hey, look me over Lend me an ear I'm a conservative