I am the very model of a modern Major-General

I am the very model of a modern Major-General I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical I'm very well-acquainted too with matters mathematical I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse I'm very good at integral and differential calculus I know the scientific names of beings animalculous In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral I am the very model of a modern Major-General I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics I can floor peculiarities parablous I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore Then I can write a washing bill in Balylonic cuneiform And tell you every detail of Caractacus's uniform In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral I am the very model of a modern Major-General In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin" When I can tell at sight a chassepôt rifle from a javelin When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat" When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee- For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century But still in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral I am the very model of a modern Major-General